01
Dark roast
Dark Side Roast
Carefully roasted on the dark side of life.
- Profile
- Bold, deep, smoky
- Attitude
- Unapologetic
- Best for
- Early starts and bad plans
- Format
- 12 oz whole bean
Good coffee for bad decisions.
About our coffee
Roast profiles with unnecessary amounts of personality.
We made two bags for two very different mornings. Neither one accepts responsibility for what happens after the second cup.
02
Bright roast
Morning Regret
Carefully roasted for the bright side of life.
- Profile
- Smooth, balanced, bright
- Attitude
- Quietly disappointed
- Best for
- Late starts everywhere
- Format
- 12 oz whole bean
Same beans. Lower expectations.
Our process
Fire. Beans. Judgment.
The exact production details will evolve with the real roastery operation. The current site reflects the prototype products and their intended flavor direction without inventing sourcing claims that do not exist yet.
Choose the mood
Dark Side for weight and smoke. Morning Regret for a cleaner, brighter cup.
Grind it fresh
Use the grind that matches your brewer. Humanity has suffered enough from stale grounds.
Brew without drama
Start with a standard ratio, taste, then adjust. Coffee is allowed to be simple.
Judge hourly
The roast is already judging you, so the relationship remains balanced.
A deliberately normal brew guide
Start here. Ruin it your own way later.
These are general starting points, not sacred law carved into a reclaimed-wood coffee bar.
Drip1:16 coffee-to-water ratio
French pressCoarse grind, about 4 minutes
Pour-overMedium-fine grind, steady pour
Cold brewCoarse grind, long steep, patience somehow required
Enough education
Visit the mock store